Steering

by
Lindsay Lauren
                  —From “Grandma Nadia: Collection” by Lindsay Lauren

She handed us the wheel like it was nothing, like control was a thing you could trust a
child with, like the dirt roads didn’t already bear the scars of our mistakes. The truck
growled as it moved, tires spitting gravel and raising ghosts of dust behind us, the air
thick with earth and fuel. My hands shook on the cracked leather wheel, knuckles tight,
the way you grasp onto something too big to understand. The world outside the window
became a smear of gold and brown, the horizon wobbling with every overcorrection.
She sat beside me, calm as if chaos wasn’t unfolding, as if the fences we’d already
plowed through didn’t matter, as if this wasn’t a risk. Her laugh came low, unbothered,
like she knew that broken things could always be fixed; a dented fender, a splintered
gate, a bruised ego. I swerved too hard, slammed the brakes, felt the truck lurch forward
like it wanted to buck me off. Skid marks curled behind us, dark scars carved into the
dirt. But she never flinched. Not once. Her gaze stayed steady, her silence heavy with
trust. Mistakes weren’t the point, freedom was. She knew it had to be wild to mean
something, reckless to stick, untamed to feel like the first real lesson in living.

Lindsay Lauren is a clinical psychology doctoral intern and freelance writer whose poetry explores the intersection of science, emotion, and the human experience. Her creative work has been featured in The Alcala Review, the California Emerging Writers SeriesFat Daddy’s Farm42 Stories AnthologyYou Might Need to Hear ThisScapegoat ReviewQuibble LitThe Windhover, and Punt Volat, among others. When she isn’t writing or working with patients, she can be found running long distances, searching for the perfect metaphor, or adventuring with her dog, Butter.