past

this story starts with a girl
potioned from friendless years
and internet-skewed youth, toxic tumblr
images sticky-wrapped to memory.
she had a funhouse of a brain
and emotions unwilling to be tamed,
housed in a heart of cotton candy.
this tincture became dart throws of doubt
and jug rings aimed for the double
whammy of attention and approval.

present

i am medusaed out of thin air
and i lean into the sinksand like a blanket,
squirming only when my ringmaster
stays silent. i acrobat myself into every shape
i can dream down. i even begin breaking
my limbs into each letter, the spellings
more incessant by the minute. until he
applauds my undoing, lets the stakes
slingshot in saturned silhouettes
of adrenaline rising and crashing like snares.

future

hope, once alit in the magic of each act,
will become a horse carouseling in
and out of view. your heart will trapeze
until it blisters off the bar and your mind
will merry-go-round in roars. each whirl
working up to the shattering of stone house
and contorting back into yourself—cold
and stickfigured—heart risking disappearance.
it will spend years reverse-potioning itself,
until it can cartwheel right out of the circus it created.